(image via istockphoto)

As a therapist who helps people address problems affecting their relationships & sex lives, one of the most common issues I see is people focusing more on the act of sex versus the experience of being sexual.

What’s the difference?

A LOT.

Most people have a very limited vision of sex that is made up of some form of penetration topped off with an orgasm and maybe some foreplay somewhere in there…maybe.  

If there’s enough time & energy, right?

Now before you get upset with me, I’m not suggesting that either has to be off the sexy time menu.

Not at all.

What I am suggesting is that you expand your definition to include more pleasure-filled experiences.

Does that mean swinging from the chandeliers?< ...

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As a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in relationships & sexuality, I have the privilege of helping people on a regular basis overcome relationship conflict & sexual challenges.

Hands down, I have the best job ever…next to Beyonce, of course.

But, seriously, helping people overcome traumas, shame, emotional/physical pain that keep them from having healthy relationships & pleasurable sex is a pretty awesome gig.

I often take for granted how much “insider” information I have about the two topics.  And, although, on just about every social media stream we can find tips on “How to Know If Your Partner Thinks You’re The One” or “The Best Adult Toys to Boost Your Sex Life” there’s one important secret that they rarely reveal or go into detail about. 

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